It was a privilege to have been in the audience to witness it, and join in the standing ovation. However, there can’t be many people who’s claim to fame is being hit by a very hard Italian biscuit thrown by Sir Terry Wogan! Don’t worry, Sir Tel, it landed several inches below my nose so I won’t sue, and I’m sure the bruise will soon fade……..

That’s the thanks I get,for trying to keep my people off the breadline…Those biscuits were baked by Elio Paces sister,I’ll have you know….

I DO know – they’re both very good friends of mine! But glad Elfin Safety wasn’t around to witness your assault on my person!

DEBBIE REYNOLDS!!!!!!! yes please… See you there!
What sort of egg would you like?

I was lucky.A biscuit whizzed over my head to a woman in the row behind me.She was lucky too,as she caught it rather than it hitting her.

I can’t believe the complaints ! How many radio or TV shows feed as they entertain ?What do you want,soft fruits ? Scrambled egg? Barrowland Boyds uneaten porridge ? It’s a long time since the theatre audience invited me to share their scotch eggs…

Weekend Wogan 7, Counting House Lane,
BBC Radio 2 Great Dunmow, Essex CM6 1BX

timnelson@btinternet.com Tel: 01371 875496 Mob: 07706 086631

4th April 2010

Re: Terry Wogan Janet and John stories

Dear Sir,

Congratulations on the last 2-Janet and John stories have been superbly written, but could you please advise why you have never read out mine which are superior to almost all the others.

Possibly you did recount them at a times when I missed the transmission (Breakfast shows included – although I found no evidence using the ‘listen again’ feature), maybe someone had already sent you stories such as ‘Janet and John go to the library and John learns to drive’ or perhaps my letters and emails got overlooked.

Perhaps you could advise me on this as you have not replied to any of my previous communications.

Yours faithfully,

__________
Tim Nelson.

PS* I have attached another copy for your perusal

Dear Terror Wagon (or something like that),

JANET AND JOHN go to the Library:

Janet says ‘John, I’ve got to go into town and do some shopping, so I thought you could go to the Library for a while – I’ll buy some of your favourite chocolate animals’

Arriving at the library, Janet says I’ll leave you in the capable hands of Mrs. Bickerdyke and I wont be long.

‘Hello John’ says Mrs. Bickerdyke ‘I hope you’ve remembered your credentials if you want to take something from me today.’

‘Yetths’, says John fumbling his hand in his pocket to show his membership.

‘We can offer all sorts of services here now: You might get free access to my website – and then you can think about a story, or work of fiction for Janet. If you have trouble finding anything, just ask Helen Highwater, my assistant, and I’m sure she’ll take you up the aisle to find the right spot. She’ll show you how if you lay sleeves on this machine, it will automatically sense things in and out. Also, if you come round the back with me later I might have some other novel-ideas not often requested too.

Before John could answer Janet came back to take John home: ‘How did you get on she asked.’

Mrs Bickerdyke was lovely said John, she showed me all around and told me how important it was to move in and out quietly and avoid other people. She said next time I came it wouldn’t matter if I was overdue as coming a bit late only incurred a small penalty. She reached a climax by saying I could always have free access to lots of services and that, in future, if we came in via the front passage and took the covered way out it should avoid lots of children in the nursery well ahead.

At this point Janet decided she would be doubly sure not to head that way, and strapped John rather too tightly into his car seat – Poor John.

You’ve missed out on the previous two I sent to ‘Wake Up To Wogan’ (perhaps they got screened out in some way), but maybe third time lucky???.